Barmia – the book

A very close friend of mine has published a book – hoorah!

Barmia is a story about four teenagers who enter the world of Barmia and find themselves embroiled in a fight for their lives. Tarquin, his sister Jemima, together with Kylie and her brother Wayne, go on what appears to be jolly quest for the Knowing Stone, Finurdle, and Sword of Silver to help Barmians defeat the Vice Queen. Tarquin has problems with alcohol and his sister has been expelled from numerous schools. Kylie is trying to be mature, while her brother is an easy going sort who has been flirting with Jemima, causing tension between the two girls.

The longer they are in Barmia, the more they get drawn into the local conflict and find out that they are integral to ‘The Prophecy.’ They need to work together as a team if they want to survive because it soon seems a real possibility that they might not make it out alive!


Don’t be fooled by the cover – it’s a ripping read available at Amazon and on Kindle.

Truth (a very short story!)

That night we gazed up at the blood moon hanging above the trees. The soft illumination clearly showed it for the ball it is, not a disc, more like an orange malteser. It just goes to show how shedding too much light on something can obscure the truth.



Where once stood wealth
there is now a void,
a silent black hole
where only tears belong

Last year it glowed
golden in the sun
sparkling with pride,
stood there tall, stood there strong.

Then it was gone,
not a scrap remained,
no piling, no frame,
no concrete base, no trace.

The engineers came.
It had been, they said,
a mirage, a fake;
it never existed in the first place.

You too can reserve a seat on the Gravy Train!

Some shameless advertising here!

More Gravy

More Gravy Please! the ultimate handbook for all politicians is now available. You too could get on the gravy train.

George Fripley, the author of You Can’t Polish a Turd (the Civil Servant’s Manual) has recently turned his vast inexperience and attention to politics. The result is More Gravy Please!

George gained his qualification as an Instant Expert from the University of My Mate Down the Pub Told Me.

More Gravy Please! is the definitive politician’s handbook. This book will educate you about the perils of Manic Irrelevance Syndrome, how to achieve success using the Thermodynamic Theory of Promotion, and how ideas spread through Viral Ignorance.

You will also learn where blame belongs, how to make a suitably bad decision, and what do with all of that tiresome legislation that will come across your desk.

More Gravy Please! asks six basic questions to test your suitability for political life, and from there guides you step-by-step onto the Front Bench and beyond.

More Gravy Please! is available as a paperback and ebook through Amazon.

Perth, 2113

Perth 2113

When summer comes
shoving spring aside,
children scream in terror,
‘The Sun! The Sun!’
as they run for cover.

That malicious beast
striding the earth – relentless,
sending us into shadows,
burning, searing, killing
the slow, the stragglers,

desiccating the unwary,
wearing down the strong
leaving people as wasted shells
gasping each night
for a cool breath of air.
When summer comes
painting bright landscapes
luring us with false colours,
we hide – and pray
for Autumn’s gentle skies.

(Originally published in Silence…)

Sir Roger d’Enwharey (1957 – present)

Sir Roger d’Enwharey is a founding partner in the well-respected public relations company – d’Enwharey, Koppett & Suphor. Sir Roger has been contracted numerous to run election campaigns in numerous countries throughout the world, and has a greater than 80% record in receiving payment for his services. A self-confessed cynic who sold his soul to advertising at the tender age of seventeen, he has made it his business to understand how messages can be best communicated to the general public without them being conscious of the facts. He is of the opinion that manipulation of the population is an art that needs consummate attention to detail and should not be attempted by those with morals or ethics.

De Enwharey, Koppett & Suphor have previously conducted successful campaigns that managed to convince people that politicians are underpaid, that politicians spend far too much time in parliament, and that all those who earn under 100K per year should not be allowed to vote. Sir Roger is currently working with an unnamed government to produce a strategy to guarantee their re-lection, involving demonisation of minorities, increasing taxes on the disabled, and a hard-line against the homeless.

When interviewed, Sir Roger offered the following advice to those thinking of entering the political public relations industry:

• Promote a politician not on what he has achieved, but on what his opposite number has not achieved.
• A clear vision and sincerity are not enough for an election campaign, it must also involve significant deceit and be staffed with people with the morals of an alley cat on heat, or it will fail.
• Hypocrisy in the speeches, the arrogance of the barefaced lie, and the contempt in which they hold the public. The HAC method is the foundation of a well run campaign.
• Political life is divided into three terms – that which was promised, that which is actually delivered, and that which will remain believable for the next election.
• Tell people they need more debt, more lollies, more mod cons, whatever seems appropriate, and denounce those who disagree as being unpatriotic and exposing the country to recession, danger, or ridicule. It works the same in any country.

For Lease

The sign surrendered long ago,
it now hangs loose, bored,
content to let the wind
push it around,
rattle its chains,
rusted but resilient;
Harold J Crowley & Sons
Picture Framers.

Inside, still silent air yearns
for an open door, a breeze,
a voice, the smell of glue,
a creaking floorboard,
a broom to agitate,
not just a scattered pile
of unopened mail.

The morning sun throws shafts of light
illuminating dust,
suspended in time,
drifting through faint
echoes of lost dreams
now half-obscured
by peeling window paint,
graffiti, and shadows.

(from Silence… – my collection of poems)


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