Sir Roger d’Enwharey (1957 – present)

Sir Roger d’Enwharey is a founding partner in the well-respected public relations company – d’Enwharey, Koppett & Suphor. Sir Roger has been contracted numerous to run election campaigns in numerous countries throughout the world, and has a greater than 80% record in receiving payment for his services. A self-confessed cynic who sold his soul to advertising at the tender age of seventeen, he has made it his business to understand how messages can be best communicated to the general public without them being conscious of the facts. He is of the opinion that manipulation of the population is an art that needs consummate attention to detail and should not be attempted by those with morals or ethics.

De Enwharey, Koppett & Suphor have previously conducted successful campaigns that managed to convince people that politicians are underpaid, that politicians spend far too much time in parliament, and that all those who earn under 100K per year should not be allowed to vote. Sir Roger is currently working with an unnamed government to produce a strategy to guarantee their re-lection, involving demonisation of minorities, increasing taxes on the disabled, and a hard-line against the homeless.

When interviewed, Sir Roger offered the following advice to those thinking of entering the political public relations industry:

• Promote a politician not on what he has achieved, but on what his opposite number has not achieved.
• A clear vision and sincerity are not enough for an election campaign, it must also involve significant deceit and be staffed with people with the morals of an alley cat on heat, or it will fail.
• Hypocrisy in the speeches, the arrogance of the barefaced lie, and the contempt in which they hold the public. The HAC method is the foundation of a well run campaign.
• Political life is divided into three terms – that which was promised, that which is actually delivered, and that which will remain believable for the next election.
• Tell people they need more debt, more lollies, more mod cons, whatever seems appropriate, and denounce those who disagree as being unpatriotic and exposing the country to recession, danger, or ridicule. It works the same in any country.

About George Fripley
I am a writer who enjoys writing humour, satire, poetry and sometimes a bit of philosophy. I live in Perth, Western Australia and occasionally get a poem or article published. It's all good fun! I have two books available for unwary readers, Grudges, Rumours and Drama Queens- The Civil Servant's Manual (This contains all that anybody could ever want to know about why government runs so slowly) and More Gravy Please! - the Politician's Handbook. (available through Amazon)

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