Dim Matter & el-presidentium

Before I put up a couple of music-related posts next week, I thought I’d do one more ‘science-based’ post…it’s a bit of a rehash from a few years ago, but here goes

 

Dim matter is believed to make up 85 percent of the bureaucracy. However, because it doesn’t emit or absorb any daylight, it can’t be seen or even proven to exist. It expresses itself as Dim Flow, which can clearly be measured in the difference between the time a straightforward process should take, and the time it actually takes when implemented within a bureaucracy.
This Dim flow emits Dim energy, which has the effect of dragging into line any person who enters a bureaucracy with the result that they implement the bureaucratic systems with vigour and intent. These people eventually have their grey matter turned into dim matter by all the dim energy pervading the system.
If you are interested in the discovery of Dim matter and bureaucracy you could, if you feel inclined, read this article

After the success in discovering Dim Matter and its relationship with a new particle, the Positively Energized Moron, and the relationship between dark matter and bureaucracy (https://anothergrumpycommuter.wordpress.com/2012/11/28/dark-matter-and-its-relationship-to-bureaucracy-a-monologue), I have now made another startling discovery. A new isotope of the element presidentium – presidentium 2016, also known as el-presidentium. I will enlighten you with the following:

• el-presidentium often appears out of nothing when too much Dim Matter accumulates in one area, and some of the Positively Energised Morons can become attracted to each other. The presence of further amounts of dim matter excites these morons, and they often go spinning off at random directions. When this happens, the morons will disperse, then attach themselves to other random molecules.
• However, if this small group of positively energized morons manages to hold itself together, it then floats around and steals more morons from other collections of dim matter that it comes across until there are enough morons to form el-presidentium.
• Unlike conventional atoms that require a nucleus of neutrons and protons to hold it together and form stability, el-presidentium is a lightweight element made up entirely of morons flying around a central vacuum. The faster these morons travel, the greater the vacuum becomes. This central vacuum is known as a farcicum.
• When enough positively energized morons manage to coalesce,  the vacuum increases in power to the point where it becomes unstable and has the potential to collapse in on itself resulting in the formation of a super-dense entity known as a peculiarity (rather like a singularity, but without the gravity, mass, or substance).
• This peculiarity is so dense that none of the positively energized morons can escape and they are forever trapped. This then becomes a new form of el-presidentium, known as Dementium. A peculiar property of Dementium is that it repels all common sense.

Further work needs to be carried out on el-presidentium, but for now, many scientists are convinced that it is a fairly rare and random element that acts as a sanctuary for stray morons.

Teapartium

After their success in discovering Dim Matter and its relationship with a new particle, the Positively Energized Moron, in their search for a relationship between dark matter and bureaucracy (http://www.thepoliticus.com/content/link-between-dark-matter-and-government), Professor Honor Bender and her student Grant Spender have now made another startling discovery. They have discovered a new element – Teapartium. They have summarized it in the following points:

  • Teapartium often appears out of nothing when too much Dim Matter accumulates in one area, and some of the Positively Energised Morons can become attracted to each other. The presence of further amounts of dim matter excites these morons, and they often go spinning off at random directions. When this happens, the morons will disperse, then attach themselves to other random molecules.
  • However, if this small group of positively energized morons manages to hold itself together, it then floats around and steals more morons from other collections of dim matter that it comes across until there are enough morons to form Teapartium.
  • Unlike conventional atoms that require a nucleus of neutrons and protons to hold it together and form stability, Teapartium is a lightweight element made up entirely of morons flying around a central vacuum. The faster these morons travel, the greater the vacuum becomes. This central vacuum is known as a farcicum.
  • When enough positively energized morons manage to coalesce,  the vacuum increases in power to the point where it becomes unstable and has the potential to collapse in on itself resulting in the formation of a super-dense entity known as a peculiarity (rather like a singularity, but without the gravity, mass, or substance).
  • This peculiarity is so dense that none of the positively energized morons can escape and they are forever trapped. This then becomes a new form of Teapartium, known as dementium. A peculiar property of dementium is that it repels all common sense.

Further work needs to be carried out on Teapartium, but for now Professor Bender and Grant Spender are convinced that it is a fairly random element that acts as a sanctuary for stray morons.

%d bloggers like this: