A song…sort of

https://soundcloud.com/freelancer-322054251/dark-nothing-into-the-void

This a bit sci-fi, a bit sparse, just like space itself…let me know what you think

George

 

Scarlet Words – A short story

Earth!

Why Earth?

Of all the planets in the galaxy, this was where they had sent it. It had finished as the top apprentice after the fieldwork trials and exams. It had gained a reputation of being almost unsurpassed in single combat, perfect in undercover operations, and sharp-eyed as an observer. This posting was an insult.

“Why. What do you want me to do there?” It had asked.

“To observe,” they’d said.

“Observe what? The species is so primitive.”

“Observe everything that happens, and report back to us. We haven’t sent anybody there since Stiovebhu. They are an interesting species. We want an update on their progress.”

“What did Stiovebhu find?” It had asked.

There had been an awkward shuffling of feet and expressions of strange happiness. On Earth, it now knew they would have been fake smiles. They had told it that it got the assignment because the last two agents sent to Earth had disappeared without trace. They had said it was dangerous and that was why he had got the job. They said it was a matter of supreme importance for the security of the planet. He was the best apprentice. He would need to go.

“But not too dangerous for an apprentice?” It had asked. “Why not send a seasoned field agent?”

“Its not that important, but if you feel in danger you should immediately leave and we will endeavour get someone to pick you up as soon as is feasible. However, we feel you will be fine. Good luck, and make sure your last will and testament is up to date.”

It had protested more, but eventually it had, reluctantly, accepted the posting, feeling just a touch apprehensive. The journey had been long and boring, until it got close to Earth. And then it had become even worse as they made their way through the arse-end of the known Galaxy. It had been the most depressing week of its life, but then it had arrived, and within days it realised how lucky it had been. Humans were so malleable, so predictable, and so vulnerable. It fed on them at will, and knew that it would never be discovered for what it was. It had very quickly settled in to a job in a large organisation, begun observing, and then lost track of time.  It suspected that the previous two agents were still somewhere here on the planet. Why would they have left? Life was just too good. After a number of years, it lost the will to leave, stopped responding to the regular contacts from home, and became part of the Earth population.

One day, it sat in the main Boardroom, looking to all around it like a human being, as it scanned the agenda for its next meal. There was nothing that looked promising for the next seven items, they were all operational reports and mundane information papers, but there were a couple of low level decisions to be made after that. It was possible that they could provide some sustenance, but later there was a strategic planning and innovation item, being presented by bright, agile, and dynamic staff members. New meat. Young and tender. Hot-blooded.

So, with nothing to do until then, it sat dormant in its chair as it watched words cross the table in front of it. Unlike humans, it saw words, each one having a colour, and a shade of that colour. Most of them were grey, just ordinary dull words, but some did have the odd shade of blue or green, or even a hint of yellow. However, none burned with bright orange or red. None were of any interest to it.

The meeting dragged ever so slowly with the creature taking no interest in anything, just raising its hand to support the Chair every time she called for a vote. The minutiae of key performance indicators were discussed, the quarterly reports were analysed in excruciating detail, which was a trial for the humans, but not the creature which sat ignoring the bland grey words without any emotion whatsoever, barely aware of the passing of time. The schedule of board site visits was debated at length as the members balanced tropical beaches against inhospitable deserts. The tropical visits won. Then there was the chatter about holidays and sports and other matters totally foreign to it.

Finally item number eleven arrived, something about a new way of writing standard reports. It wasn’t anything ground-breaking, but it was presented by Melissa, a young graduate whose eyes sparkled as she pulled out her briefing paper. This was more like it.

It sat up straighter in its seat watching the glowing orange words exiting her mouth and circling around everybody at the table. The words either glowed slightly less or slightly more depending on their delivery. They floated through the room still glowing orange, but not radically so. They hadn’t turned into the red of a major meal, but orange would do for now as a starter.

When the creature spoke, it was with calm authority, explaining the benefits of maintaining the current report template, the status quo, and the fact that the familiarity of all staff and the external clients with it was of great benefit. As it spoke the words drifted towards it and as they passed through the creature they lost all colour and became grey. A warm fuzzy feeling coursed through its body as it watched the smile slowly freeze on the young girl’s face. It spoke more of the need to trial new ideas before they are embraced, to see if there were any unintended consequences, and others nodded, always looking for the comfort of the familiar, and the more it spoke, the last vestiges of colour were sucked out of the girl’s words. They were almost transparent now.

Her smile turned into a frown and the creature knew its job was done, its hors doovers consumed. Melissa left the room shoulders down, head bowed. The creature suppressed a smile of satisfaction, instead giving her a smile of encouragement. It wanted her back again; she was good for the future. Despite her current despondency, she would bounce back. There were many years left to harvest her enthusiasm. She had just enough intensity to survive for a prolonged length of time. All in all, it thought, the future was bright.

The next item on the agenda was more interesting. Three people came in.

“Welcome,” said the Chair, before introducing the staff members to the committee. The creature wasn’t interested in names; it identified people through their individual auras, and two of these had that telltale faint red glow of enthusiasm, boundless enthusiasm, or so they thought.

“Jason, and his two branch members, Ruby and Gerhard, have been working in the Strategic Planning and Innovations team for the past year and have been examining in detail our processes and procedures. They are going to present a blueprint of how we can cut down on repetition, the number of layers of approvals, and how delegation of some tasks can be done with minimal risk to the organisation. They forecast at least a twenty-five percent efficiency gain!”

“Working for a whole year,” the creature commented. “This should be good. I’m really looking forward to see what you’ve come up with.”

Other committee members smiled. So were they. The three presenters seemed to swell with pride and enthusiasm, at least the two young ones did, and that was just what the creature wanted. It saw their auras glow brighter and become richer in texture. Even Jason, their manager, was glowing ever so slightly. That was promising, the creature had seen him many times before and had fed on his energy, so much so that it had not thought there to be anything further to harvest, but here, undeniably, was a that faint glow. There was yet more to come from Jason, not much, but more all the same. And he always brought such great treats with him, always young, always bright-eyed and keen, always full of hope and energy. The creature waited for them to speak, Jason going first.

He spoke with a quiet neutral tone that was apricot in colour. He was restrained, but optimistic that there was promise in the proposal and that these two staff members would be the people to make it happen. It didn’t take much to change his words to a sort of gunmetal grey, and to be honest, the creature was left feeling unsatisfied. Its optimism had been misplaced, but no matter, the new meat was now speaking.

The creature started to watch and almost fainted. Ruby and Gerhard spoke with so much vigour, their words were not just red, but luminescent scarlet, so bright that for a moment the creature thought it had gone blind. It coughed to cover up its momentary shock, apologised, and waved for them to continue. Inside it was singing; this was a gourmet meal, an opportunity that came along once in a lifetime, twice if you were lucky. These ideas were so good and presented with so much enthusiasm, that it knew it had to feast carefully. There was a real possibility of overdosing if it wasn’t careful. It could actually start feeling the optimism within itself, and that was a dangerous place to be. Some members of its species had been known to die when confronted with such a situation, eventually feeding on their own feelings and sucking themselves dry.

As the new meat spoke, their words flowed around the table leaving trails of glowing sparkles that floated slowly clockwise as they gradually dissipated, until the creature saw the room as its own private galaxy turning slowly as those stars passed through the occupants. To the left of the creature was a shadow where the particles had passed through, been consumed, and then excreted as grey dust.

As the two youngsters spoke, taking the committee through their new ideas, it watched the fully formed words get brighter and brighter, waiting for the right moment, the moment when the maximum hope and enthusiasm was reached. If it acted too soon then it would miss out on some calories, if it went too late it would also miss those calories. The trick was the intensity of the colour. When it reached a hue of scarlet that was almost transparent, almost a pink, that’s when to speak.

There were so many scarlet words it as an effort just to control itself! It was beyond orgasmic. Whole sentences flowing out of their mouths in such a rich colour. The creature shuddered, as it couldn’t resist consuming a word early.

“What a great idea,” said the Chair. “Thank you so much for bringing it to us.”

Their auras glowed as bright as the creature had ever seen, so bright that it actually flinched.

“Are you okay Tony?” The Chair was looking at it with concern.

“Fine, fine,” it said. “Just a muscle twitch. I’ve been running and I’m getting too old for it now!” Everybody laughed and relaxed, but inside it was cursing itself.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Keep your self-control. There was no excuse in one now so experienced to lose it, not with such a feast on offer. It was almost time to feed. It just needed to tweak their enthusiasm one little bit more.

“That is probably the best idea I have heard in many years,” it said. “I commend you on this, it is stunning work. It stands to benefit the who organisation for years to come.” It paused as the smiles grew bigger and the words swirled faster and faster, slicing through it causing spasms of pleasure. Wait!

Then it continued, “but only after we have trialled it for a year or so to make sure there are no unintended consequences.”

The smiles became fixed and the words ceased increasing in brightness as they swirled around the room. It continued, “In fact I think the best way to proceed would be for us to form a sub-committee to take a closer look at what this entails, to make sure that we know what we’re letting ourselves in for.”

There were nods around the table. The creature knew that its fellow committee members would swim straight for an island of certainty if they were in the vastness of the untested ocean of innovation. It wasn’t that they weren’t excited by the prospect, it was more that they got nervous when they couldn’t see the horizon. And with something as new as what they were hearing today, their limited imaginations couldn’t see an end-point. It knew that they had all been waiting for somebody to punch a hole in the idea and give them an opportunity to reach for something familiar, an excuse to stop progress. A subcommittee was just what they now realised that they needed.

As more nodded and the two youngsters shrunk before its very eyes, the creature ravenously sucked the energy out of the words; it took more than one go with some of them, but one by one they lost their lustre and became yellow, then blue, then the leaden grey that indicated that almost all that could be extracted had been extracted.

The two previously bright sparks left the room dulled with their heads bowed, disappointed, even after the Chair decided they should both be on the new subcommittee. The creature saw them as others didn’t – desiccated, wrinkled, and looking ten years older. The life had been partially sucked out of them, and it showed. The creature thought it could had seen the wrinkles forming as it had spoken, prodding the defences of the idealistic, finding a weakness to exploit, taking advantage of that naive view of the world. Yes, seeing that visible deflation was better than the mating ritual. Seeing them depart looking wasted, their auras almost gone, had made its day.

Grey words now shrouded them, clinging on like limpets, smothering them, obscuring them, taking their personalities away, numbing them.

Sure, the creature could see that it hadn’t completely eviscerated them of hope and enthusiasm, but why would it? They would be back at least once more, probably twice, as they tried to work out a way of using the subcommittee to justify their ideas, not seeing the futility of their actions, just as other misplaced individuals had in the past.

If it was honest with itself, it was doing them a favour by taking away so much so soon. It was freeing them from the prospect of being slowly crushed and destroyed, dismembered by the relentless turning cogs of the system. If they were strong they would, after a short sharp shock such as they had just experienced, now become seasoned bureaucrats, perpetuating the grey changeless mundanity of the paper shuffling, conservative, risk averse office culture. And then they would start bringing their own new meat to the committee room.

It sat back, hoping the feast it just had would not lead to indigestion. Such a rich meal could come back to haunt it, repeat a little bit, cause it to burp up a little enthusiasm if it wasn’t careful, however unlikely that appeared. It had been careful not to over-indulge. The two of them would be back in the coming months; they simply had too much enthusiasm to drain it all in one go. They still had more enthusiasm left to give. Jason would try to dissuade them, but they would come back, probably at least twice, but the last time would be more of a snack rather than a meal, a sort of wipe of the plate with a piece of bread, mopping up the last vestiges of life.

The rest of the meeting passed by with no further incident and soon the committee were alone.

Another month over, it thought.

“See you all next month,” it said, its brow creasing as it smiled. The other five nodded as they put away their tablets and papers before exiting the room. They never said much. Soon only it and the Chair were left.

“I think those two young ones have potential,” she said. “What do you think, Tony?”

The creature paused as it closed its briefcase. “Yes, I rather think they’ll be back. In fact, I really hope so. Such enthusiasm is hard to find and nurture these days.”

“Yes, we should cherish it,” she said.

It smiled as they left the room. “Believe me, I do,” it said.

That evening it sat in its home and found itself wondering where its fellow agents were. The lack of enthusiasm for good ideas around this planet led it to believe that they were hard at work. Surely humans would have been on the moon by now, or even Mars, with their undoubted intellect, but they weren’t. Too many good ideas were stymied early on. It felt a moment of guilt at that thought. It and those like it were inhibiting the development of a species, but then again, they only had themselves to blame. So often they managed to talk themselves out of progress without any help at all.

It was a tough universe, and with that attitude they wouldn’t last more than a few decades once they got out there.

As it fell into a guilt-free sleep it dreamed of scarlet words.

An excerpt from The Langorian Queen

       Kylie and Tarquin ran as fast as they could. Kylie felt her lungs burning as she forced her body to do things it had never been trained for. At least that distracted her from the itch in the centre of her spine. They could hear their pursuers crashing through the undergrowth behind them but dare not look back for fear of tripping over something in front of them. Any moment now she was expecting to feel an arrow in her back.  They’d fired a few early in the chase, but they’d flown wide, just wide enough in one case where an arrow had thudded into a tree trunk only a couple of feet to one side.
      In front of her Tarquin was doing his best to make sure she stayed with him. He knew she was tiring, but they had to keep going or they would surely die. He doubted his ability to deal with the patrol behind him without help. Last time he’d had Wayne as company, and that had been a close thing. And they had no brooms this time. Kylie had a sword, but he had no idea whether she could use it. There was no point in fighting if they could avoid it. They would do well just to keep out of sight, to hide if they could.
      Cedric and Ruby had gone ahead to the tower while he and Kylie had stopped for a rest. The Knob, as they had come to call it, was only a few hours ahead but Kylie was still suffering from the exhaustion, both mental and physical, of caring for Jemima. They’d found a place to rest quietly for an hour and had only just got going again when they’d been seen by a goman patrol. He noticed that the forest was thinning in from of him and it looked like there was open ground not far ahead. So much for keeping out of sight; they’d be targets for the bowmen soon.
      ‘Tarquin!
       He looked back and saw that Kylie was lying on the ground struggling to get up.  Shit!  He went running back. The gomans were only about a hundred metres away but luckily the lush undergrowth hid them.
      ‘Kylie, we have to keep going.’
      ‘It’s too late Tarquin, I’m done.’
       He nodded, took a deep breath and quietly drew his sword preparing to meet his pursuers if he had to.       ‘We’re probably going to have fight, Kylie. I hope you’re ready. Let’s hide in these ferns and hope they go past. But if they don’t, we’ll not have any choice.’
      She forced herself to her feet and drew her sword. ‘Any words of advice?’ she asked in a slow heavy voice as they silently retreated behind the greenery.
      ‘Just keep your head and don’t panic. And cover my back. I’ll cover yours,’ he whispered.
      The gomans came running past and for one moment Tarquin thought they were going to be safe. Then the leader stopped and looked at the relatively clear ground in front of him. ‘We should be able to see them from here. Stop!’ he barked out with his back to the two of them. ‘They must have gone to ground.’        They all did as they stared at the trees and low shrubs trying to see where their prey might have gone. It wouldn’t be more than a few seconds until one of them turned around.
      Tarquin brought his mouth close Kylie’s ear and spoke in hardly audible tones, ‘I’ll take the leader. You take the one on his left. Then we’ve got a sporting chance against the other three eated. ‘Are you ready? We’ll on the count of three.’
      Kylie nodded again, not trusting herself to speak.
      Tarquin counted to three and then exploded from his hideout, covering the distance to the gomans in a split second with Kylie only a metre behind him. He impaled the leader just as he was turning around, ripping his sword out as the creature fell, before slicing the chest of the next closest goman who was frozen in surprise. Two down. That almost evened the contest, but he turned and saw that Kylie had also frozen just as her target turned around with a drawn weapon.
       She watched him start to smile and raise his sword. The blade was almost hypnotising as she watched the sunlight gleam off it on its slow-motion arc upwards. It was beautiful.
       ‘Kylie!’ Tarquin’s voice jolted her out of her paralysis just in time for her to block the now downward-racing goman sword with her own. She stumbled backwards, but immediately bounced up as the creature strode forward to finish her off, now confident in the lack of ability of its opponent. With adrenalin now surging through her body she parried the next sword thrust and then desperately parried the next hoping that Tarquin would help her.  She continued to retreat until she backed up against a tree. The goman grinned and exhaled foul breath in her direction. ‘There’s nowhere to go now girl. I’ll get a medal for killing a human, you know. There’s a good bounty on your head.’
      Kylie looked at the creature trying to get its sword out of the tree. She hesitated, not sure what she should do. Then the goman gave up on its sword, pulled a dagger from its belt and came charging at her. The look in its eyes made her decision for her; there was nothing there resembling compassion or mercy, just bloodlust, and a certainty that its prey was too weak to fight. Perhaps this was not the time and place to worry about ethics. She gripped her sword and waited until the creature was a metre away, then she swung it for all she was worth, slicing through the goman’s stomach and chest. It fell and then lay writhing on the ground, a gurgling, bubbling sound coming from its mouth. Kylie strode over to it and looked at her handiwork. There was no question it would die, but there was no need for it to suffer. With tears in her eyes she put her sword on its chest and drove down with all of her strength. The creature convulsed once, before it sighed its last breath. For a second she stood there trying to comprehend what she had done. The sweet scent of freshly cut mint wafted through the air from a nearby plant that had been in the way of a sword – it mixed in with the sharper aroma of the damp pine needles that littered the ground and provided cushion for the now-dead creature. Then she noticed that the forest had gone quiet.
      Tarquin! Where was he?
      She heard footsteps and spun around with her heart in her mouth, her bloody sword raised ready to defend herself.
      ‘Whoa!’ Tarquin stepped back rapidly. He looked down at the goman and then at the tears on Kylie’s cheeks. ‘It’s difficult the first time,’ he said as gently as he could. ‘I threw up after I killed my first one.’ He put his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. ‘I’m okay.’
       Tarquin wasn’t convinced but he decided to let it go for now. ‘Let’s just rest for a few minutes,’ he suggested.
       They found a cliff-top overlooking the ocean where they both collapsed to the ground. Kylie stared out to sea swell march in from the ocean and then hurl itself onto the rocks below. It was hypnotic, but she wasn’t seeing it. Instead she kept replaying the fight in her head and watching with horror as her blade pierced the goman’s chest and the light in its eyes died, before the sound of the waves below and the warm sun above lulled her into a fitful doze.
       And then Tarquin was shaking her. ‘We’ve got to go, Kylie. It’s only a short walk from here.’
She nodded and hauled herself upright before the two of them began walking south towards Offa’s Knob. They could see the headland beyond which it lay. An hour and they would be there.

 

 

Multi-use jargon and facilitative communication options for the CEO

Did that sound like bullshit? Well – read on. Below is the Off-the-shelf Chief Executive Officer’s speech – applicable to any company, anytime, anywhere. Allegedly

A famous British public servant, Samuel Hackett spent his whole working life in the civil service. He joined as an eighteen year old and never looked back. He was, for a long time, head of the Department of Deficient Forward Planning. He credits his success to the education he received from Elwood B. Bettar, one of the trailblazers in the mid-20th century civil service. Hackett is not a well-known official, however he had great influence in the reforming of the government bureaucracy in the late part of last century. He has ensured that, as times change, government workers have the tools to deal with any new issues that arise.

Hackett’s main contribution to history was his ‘off-the-shelf’ Chief Executive Officer’s Speech. This was the result of the endless requests he received to write such speeches. the text of which follows.

‘I am pleased to announce that the results of the department’s mid-year review are now available for scrutiny. It has been a successful start to the year and, to this time, we have experienced a general improvement in organisational effectiveness. As a result of our pro-active approach in maintaining the critical marginal benchmark system, there has been a noticeable improvement in our neutral feedback loops. This has been somewhat counter-balanced by some unintended quantum leakage due to an unexpected flux in the ongoing fractional differentials.
To address this, a representative bottom-line workshop was run with the aim of developing cutting-edge methods of utilizing our projected consequence tables to minimise typical process contingency outcomes. This project-based approach has been commenced and is expected to resolve the issue as part of an expanded learning alignment that will add much-needed flexibility in meeting key performance indicators.
We are now focused on the indexed integrated idlers (Triple I) that were formulated to increase embedded efficiency nodes and to enhance the progressive corporate model which we believe will move us forward towards a world-class structural climate. In the coming year we plan to engage in a specific executive thrust using our Triple I system to push towards a triple-bottom line growth theme.
Moving forward, the department will be commencing a multi-phase strategic review to ensure a systematic rationalisation of the operational paradigms that currently underpin the foundations of its mission statement.

This review will also investigate ways to engage in symbiotic interpersonal cooperatives with our stakeholders to assess our current key deliverables in a way that will lead to mutually beneficial policy development that does not compromise the core values that define our vision for the future.

To facilitate this move forward, we will be developing a poly-dimensional functional competency matrix that we will use as a revolving enabler to identify where capacity building is required and to reverse engineer the corporate structure if we find we are lacking the relevant talent dimensions. Replicable capital synergies will be implemented where possible.

Prioritisation of these outcomes-based objectives will be undertaken with due consideration of the current negative growth of the budget and the time-poor nature of our biological resource units. A disposition list has now been revised after a comprehensive investigation by the cross-divisional human resource working group.

In the past this list has been considered a contributing factor to a culture of neutral business silos, however the effective use of human capital through the development of a specific talent vision, will embed a more direct interactive quality within the interface between management decision networks and departmental efficiency dividends. Preliminary process goals have now been set to guide an accelerated mission analysis.

This, together critical logistics inputs, will provide a positive pathway into the future and set a broad framework for our ongoing strategic planning process. We expect these initiatives to enhance our empirical capability and to improve our interactive organizational continuum. They will also contribute to our risk-based program of continuous improvement and to a high-impact process of spiritual renewal within the organisation.

I can assure the public that the steering committee that conducted the review will meet on a regular basis to ensure that the reviews recommendations of the new strategic direction are implemented.’

 

(an extract from Grudges Rumours & Drama Queens – the Office Handbook)

A blast from the past…about politicians!

There is political turmoil…again, here in the land of Oz. I wrote this a few years back, but it seems to still hold true, and probably will remain so…forever!

 

My Futile Search

I’m told there is talent in our political system
But I’ve looked pretty hard and it seems that I’ve missed ‘em
I took myself off through the corridors of power
It made me depressed and got worse by the hour
‘Cos all of the members to whom I was presented
Acted like kids or were clearly demented
The place was just full of these crushing old bores
The whining idealists, political whores.
When I finally left I felt soiled and stained
And wondered aloud about what could be gained
If we chucked this lot out and elected some more
But the reality was that I couldn’t be sure
That they wouldn’t just argue like immature gits
And continue to give the taxpayer the shits.

More music from Perth

This week I’m back into the local music scene. I present a monthly show in the local community radio station RTRFM 92.1 and I take great pleasure in playing local sounds, new sounds (particularly the indie sounds from Canada and the US), and old sounds . Below are 10 more bands ( in no particular order) to check out from Perth. All great bands. Note that New Talk used to be called Rag’n’Bone. Have a listen and enjoy the sounds of Western Australia. To hear these bands listen to RTRFM92.1, the champion of Western Australian music.

Foreign Architects – https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HzfA1KT8p9o

J.F.K. – https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EP-bw0Atlvc

The Money War – https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y4czOaqQUAc

Sad Hill –  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FeurlPvrsX4 

Mal de Mer – https://www.triplejunearthed.com/jukebox/play/track/7189971

Edie Green – https://soundcloud.com/ediegreen/edie-green-moonshine

Swayed  – https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AYYlHCgzmOI

Mooj – https://iftheymovekillemrecords.bandcamp.com/track/stone-soul

Tommyhawks – https://thetommyhawks.bandcamp.com/album/this-is-not-a-desert-island

Odlaw – https://odlawband.bandcamp.com/album/regret-city

Insidious….

Something happened to me at lunchtime today…in fact it is happening right now. It’s still happening as I write, and it is truly awful.

I was sitting in a cafe trying to write a short blogpost about music, local music here in Perth, great music in fact, but nothing was coming to mind. Now, I knew what I wanted to write in a general sense, but nothing was getting from brain to keyboard. I thought it was just me having a bit of a block, not quite being able to let go from work at lunchtime (or maybe feeling guilty ‘cos I planned to go out for run, but here I was not running) or something along those lines.

But it wasn’t that.

No.

What was happening,  was that I was gradually becoming  aware that my thought processes were being overtaken by an insidious earworm, a version of The Eagles’ Lyin’ Eyes being played over the speaker system. But it wasn’t The Eagles, it was some muzak version, and it was being horribly mangled. There were, possibly, lyrics being sung, or droned, but they were merging with the painfully banal keyboards so that what I could hear was a tune I knew, but could not quite place for a while. This momentary confusion stalled all other thought processes to the point that I became paralysed in that moment with nothing in my head but the desperate need to understand why I was so fascinated by the ear-torture being inflicted on the whole cafe clientele. I don’t mind The Eagles, I have a couple of albums, but I do mind their songs being mangled in the name of ambience. And then it hit me, I now had no chance of writing the short post I wanted to write and realised that this was the blogpost I had to write today.

So, thanks to a, quite frankly appalling choice of ambience creation tool, probably by a management tool , I will not longer be entering this establishment unless they get professional help in choosing music.

George

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